actually last night i went to slp super early.
cos angry with that fella.

woke up but soemthing i thought was a knock on the door..
like as if late for work liao..
den i startled awake.

my hands headed straight for his phone.
to check out what time is it.
open only, is a msg from Bingwen Pri
it says "ok"

i was thinking what ok? so i headed out to see other msgs...
one from Lay Shan Pri says" Hi ZHNPers (or smthg liddat). tmr 7pm Paragon Ding Tai Fung"
he forwarded to Bingwen n Yong Sheng..
so iguess it's his Pri sch meet up again.

dunno if he's going. but he did say anithing.
couldn't slp.. head thinking stuff... but nvm.. fell aslp anyways..
it was 2am.

i asked him this morning if he was going to do OT tonight?
he replied. dunno. Mayb.

still no news abt the 7pm paragon thing.
hmm.. even if not sure goign anot also can mention ma. -.-

frgt it. he can do wadsoever he wants.
i'm jus gonna go home tonight.

again! Alone on my Bdae Eve.
How nice is that?

Hate my life..

i don't need anyone else. i have my family.
i guess thats the most impt.

i dun need him either..

feeling really out of place recently.. feel like i dun belong..

last night i wanted to cook the Ham for him to eat. cos he said no meat.
den in the end get scolded as "dunno how to think". apparently mum just mopped the floor.

haix. pissed. den ltr he also pissed that i dun wan eat the corn.
like i dunno how to appreciate other pple cook for me.

i was just pissed. plus it was really hot.
haix. forget it. den he lose temper, stand up reli loudly and washed his plate.
went outside to sit.

again left me alone there..
i'm forever alone.
what's the point of having a bf? when im always alone?

alone when outside celebrating my bdae on Friday night?
alone when i wanna go back no hse to go back?
alone when i went to his place on Sat?
alone when i watch soccer, he ask me can keep my comments to myself anot?
alone when i slp at night?

i'm always alone. so sianx..

from today onward. it'll all be abt Me, Myself and I..
cos only i'll forever be with me...

we can nvr leave each other de. hahaha..

Omg.. boring.. haix.. falling aslp at work..

shipments slow.. den very little things to do.. slacking at work..

waiting for time to crawl to 5.30pm.. den head home...

Grey Area...

you know what's that?? its a small area right smack between right and wrong.. good and bad.. the unclear line which defines the total opposites...

Sitting in the grey area makes things.. easier.. because their unclear..
however pple tend to lean towards one side or another.. hoping it'll become clear to them soon..

Human nature they call it.
i wonder y..?

plagued by memories.. i'd like to call "Gin".
Gin won't leave me alone.
my ability to forget anything and everything, which i'd like to call "Loi", suddenly got lost somewhere in my bones or some tissue.. unablt to surface immediately when called upon...

looking for Loi to get rid of Gin.
Gin carries the grey area with her everywhere she goes..
Loi helps me "forget" Gin. So i can move on to the clearer part of life...

When Gin comes out, its scary.. because it means.. something.
i have yet to find out what something is.. but Gin sure knows what it is..

yea.. pple reading my blog might think i'm crazy.
but this is just Gin doing all these...
HAHA.. i'm sounding crazier by the second. Great.

Gin. Go Away!
Loi. Help!

**Falling in love with "Dark"... Because only when "Dark" is ard, you cant see anything.. whether it is visible by the naked eye or not.. you can't see shit. Probably 1 reason why i love "Dark" now..**

wondering if Dark could help Loi..hahaha..
ok stopping this crazy talk.

Hmm saturday aft wrk went to meet Hubby at.. erm.. Bukit Merah?
shit keep forgetting what's that place called. damn.

anyways the place where he service his bike de.. opp Queenstown shopping centre. yea.

so after that we headed back to my place suppose to meet Sean n Guang for movie... but later decided not to watch a movie.. instead go play snooker. haha..

so went went to safra tampines. got a table and started the game. Sean, Guang n hubby played first.. i watched.. FUN! whole lot of snooks and FUNNY ACTIONS AND FUNNY BALLS.. ALOT OF MISSES AND ALOT OF LAUGHTER..

haaa... super fun.. shoudl have this kinda outing more often.. hehe... anyways...
after that we headed to Tamp Mall for dinner.. Yin joined us at TM.
had teppanyaki.. yums..
loves.

bought mooncakes for ah ma.. mama.. and mum..
spent alot. =(
hubby paid for mum's one.. =)

den we headed to mama hse to pass her mooncakes. stayed awhile.. found a reason and slipped away asap. LoLx.. nothing to say also.. anyways.. realised i din buy mooncakes for mama.. as in godma mama.. haix.. mayb later. c how.

headed back home to watch soccer. haha.. so many matches on going at the same time.. slpy..
hubby accompany me watch also.. whole day spent at my hse.. Happy. =)

midnight liddat headed home.. yawns.. vry fast we reach home liao.. cos hubby know i tired. den rush home so i can cont to slp.
sho sweet.. but i got tell him dun ride dangerously..
cos i dun like. n he remembered. haa..

hmm.. sunday woke up at 915am.. cos having my thing den stomach pain. CMI.
cnt slp.
decided to get up n bathe.
feel better liao.. watch Ai Qing Hotel. hahaha..
funny.. wake hubby up at 11am.. still slacking on bed.
nonsense. manage to disturb him wake up. haha..
cos got lunch at Bedok at 12pm with ah ma n family.
Ah gu's treat. win 4d. haha

reached there abt 12.05pm. everyone was there...
eh no. kok's family last to arrive. lalalalalala...
hmm.. ate 8course lunch. damn full. headed back to my hse..
supposedly wanna chiong back home de. cos papa wanna play MJ.
In the end hubby say they going out. so no one at home..

so i call kok n jio guang play MJ. faster come over n MJ. haha.
hubby called KK. so they played.
suppose i play de. then cos my luck bu hao... den hubby play lo. still lose S$10 in the end.

haha.. hmm.. after that they watched tv. me , yin, kok, and guang went to play badminton downstairs. wah damn long no play liao.. abit rusty. ahhaha..
sweat like shit.

anyways after that kok treat us eat KFC dinner. lalala.. cos he won ma..
after dinner, went to Iluma to watch 4bia 2. ewh.. scary show..
hubby den catch a nice big cake for me to bring office. hahaha..
also a dog for Tian. hmm.. decided to head home early..
hubby tio summon cos he park along pavement.. he like sad sad..
haix.. i feel also upset.

nevertheless.. we enjoyed the day..

monday work lo.. after work hubby came pick me..
went to pay bike instalment and headed home liao.

tired. hubby slpet thru till nxt morning. i joined him at abt 8plus.. all din have dinner..

was super hungry. haha. tuesday hubby also came to pick me from work. headed home.
suppose wanted to go malasia pump petrol. in the end, john not free.

so. this morning den pump lo.. yawnz.. getting back to work liao. haha...

=P

Woo.. after big quarrel, things seem to be a little less tension and more.. relationship based now..

weird. but nevermind that..

hmm last night went JB pump petrol. met up with John. for almost 2 yrs liao. ever since he intro XJ to me, we haven seen each other for the longest time. LOLX..

im talking rubbish liao..
*shake heads.*

anyways.. ltr going to meet Xj at bukit merah there.. he going to service his bike..
after which, going to buy mooncake.. go home take ATM card first. LOLX..
in the other bag.. -.- blurr me.. as usual..

woots. salary in! yea!!! this mth must save... =(

feel damn broke. LOLX.

it was tough.

but with help and encouragement from Freidns whu really care..

i'm ok.

Thanks guys....!!

=)