sighs.. so sad.. so frustrated... feel like crying.. but cannot.. at work.. really busy.. flushed with work.. yet all i can think of is work.. and HIM.. kns..

Haix... duno when will everything be stable...

Sad..

Been feeling crappy the past week...

quarrel with him... sianx... tt day went shan'sbdae party..
no permission.. now regret...

anyways.. during weekend with him is so much better... feels so much in love...

Sunday went to Botanic Gardens with Sharon.
She had her assignemnt to do.. KK send us there and he went sch.. me n Sharon walking under the super hot sun.. i think i can feel the heat in my hair.. butt sweating and shirt all soak in perspiration...OMG... we took photos... many photos... finally hid inside the toilet at the Visitor Centre there.. got FAN... heavvenly.. hahaha... then we saw got food court there.. so we went down and sat for COLD COLD Dessert!!! yumms... so we sat there.. aft tt we saw one funny couple.. the girl is plucking the guys moustache.. OMG so funny.. den aft a while later, we saw her using oil paper blotting his face.. hahhahhaaa.. we use Sharon's camera and be papparazzi (duno hw to spell.. heck..) haha.. she took some pics and OMG so funny....... read the CLEO mag oso... sit there enjoy aircon... haha...

Hmmm den we wanted to watch the Movie 17 Again.. so aft kk class he came pick us, go buy ticket at The Cathay. watching 7.05pm show.. went to BP to pick XJ.. den we immediately head to cinema... in the car i lie down on XJ's lap and slp./. the hot sun making me slpy liao plus wake up early that morning... feels so nice to be slpin on his lap.. so warm.. so cosy.. so in love... hehe...

the show so cute.. so lovey.. so enjoyable.. Zac Efron is SOOOOOO CUTE!!! OMG.. If he my bf i'd faint everytime i see him.. mm quite sure.. haha.. good figure, nice hair.. nice eyes... sighs...*flutters...* hehe...

then in the cinema, hugging him.. feels so comfortable.. aft the show we went Bukit timah to eat Teachew porridge.. with kk and Sharon.. the porridge not bad lehs.. den XJ order crayfsh for me.. yumms my fav.. 2 for $10.00.. OMG so ex!!! hehe.. actually i think he oso wanna eat bahx LOLX... after the makan KK send us back home.. we walk in from the ATM there... cos he went to put MONEY back inside the ATM.. deposit.. LOLx.. forgot the word...

Anyways, then we walkign back home, i suddenly comment. i find Sharon very Strong and i very peifu her.. not something big that she done or something great.. just that she manage to do somehting i cant do... that is reject being with a person she likes.. many times when r/s fails. you always tell yourself.. Men Sucks! no more le.. Single best.. later after few mths.. then i'm in another r/s ler.. haha.. like the last time... i totally give up liao.. so tiring to keep a r/s going.. nofreedom.. no life... so sianx.. then i'm back ina r/s.. that y i salute her...

what me n her wans, is so simple.. just someone whu cares and shows that they love you.. be there physically and mentally.. sensitive.. makes you feel loved...

i'm not saying Xj doesnt.. i'm saying he's holding back.. i duno why.. sometime he also got the "mood"to love me.. sometime no "mood".. that's when i will sian ji pua... really piss of liddat.. cos he ming ming care but dun wanna show or say.. den makes me wonder, am i feeling the right thing anot..

maybe i'm not feeling secure.. tt y lyk need assurance all the time.. and to him, i think.. no need what-so-ever assurance as long as the feeling is true jiu hao.. i oso duno.. haix.. Just enjoying this feeling now... feels he loves me.. haha.. or am i just comforting myself??

hmmmmm...................*think think*