finally got home.. jus bathe...

so tired... feel lyk going to slp liao... but hair nt dry. so tot i blog a lil...

jus now walk back from Bukit Panjang Plaza(BPP).. like damn far la..
some more weather is like wanna rain wanna shine... hais.. den walk lo.
listen to my hp mp3 den walk... walk.. walk... after abt 7 songs or so.. i reach the LRT station Bangkit liao... sweating liao lor.. feel lyk gonna fall sick soon.. sianx...

anyway today the qns still in my head.. colin says,
u be with someone u love, den will feel xin fu in time to come, responsibility wil like automatically fall in place.

but i feel, liddat, den isnt it when u fall in love with sum1, with no responsibility to the r/s, you will lyk.. cos no responsibilityma.. den.. lyk dunnit to b responsible.. hai. duno wad i toking liao..

this morning reach office abt 820am.. less traffic.. or mayb cos im tired tt y seems lyk time v fast...went as usual to the malay stall to buy my usual curry ouffs.. but today nvr make.. sobs.. so i went on hungry stomach wrk.. cnt concentrate.. blogged a lil... den now home liao.. still no makan.. stomach starting to make funny noises.. but heck la. i kinda lyk no appetite too...

you know some pple actually has something in mind tt they feel lyk tasting? nowadays i jus dun have tt feeling lia.. duno wads wrg with me.. hais....

I'm so tired...... can barely concentrate on wad shit im doing...

feel lyk a fever coming my way..
stupid weather. stupid rain..

duno wads wrg with me. im jus emitting this negative aura these few days...
hais.. to stress at wrk.. den keep zhuan niu jiao jian..
always so pessimistic n negative. think of worse case senario..
make things so jialat for myself.

sometimes is i learn to let go of somethings, probably my life wud b better...

thinking of gg back to wrk for manicure..

but dun wish to eat into the time i get to spend with him.. but then agn, it's not lyke he's excited abt spending time with me.. aiya! see! negative aura~!!!

hai... i duno.. now im even doubting hw he feels...
is it "love"? or is it responsibility?

can 2 pple be reli "xin fu" if their together for responsibility?
responsibility can be applied onto anyone anything..

so who's to guarantee anything??

hai.. tired... mind is lyk hu si luan xiang liao...
hai.. eyes feel so heavy....

I'm feeling so sad...

I also dunno exactly y I'm feeling sad. is it bcs I always do stupid things to make him angry? or is it bcs of e girl over e phone? or is it bcs he doesn't care tat I gotta get up early tmr for work? it's 2plus am and he still suggests to go bowling.am I tat non existent??

I'm so sad and hurt. maybe it's his way of getting back at me...

I want my own room so tat I can cry out loud...

it's 3am plus in e morning. I have to stop crying and get some slp. I feel my eyes burning liao... but jus can't slp... can't help but feel very sad...

Got this interesting article from Jing's Blog..

Easy is to get a place in someone's address book
Difficult is to get a place in someone's heart

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us
Difficult is to heal the wound

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules
Difficult is to follow them

Easy is to dream every night
Difficult is to fight for a dream

Easy is to show victory
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity

Easy is to admire a full moon
Difficult to see the other side

Easy is to stumble with a stone
Difficult is to get up

Easy is to enjoy life every day
Difficult to give its real value

Easy is to pray every night
Difficult is to find God in small things

Easy is to promise something to someone
Difficult is to fulfill that promise

Easy is to say we love
Difficult is to show it every day

Easy is to criticize others
Difficult is to improve oneself

Easy is to make mistakes
Difficult is to learn from them

Easy is to weep for a lost love
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it

Easy is to think about improving
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action

Easy is to think bad of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow

Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings

**Think abt it....

Sighs.. i had a dream last night.

saw my big big wugui walk away from me.. smiling (as usual)..
lyk no matter how i chase also cnt reach the stupi wugui..
it's lyk jus bouncing away from me... hai.. i so wanna cry lo..
cos i needed wugui last night.. the small wugui oso not helping... so emo.. so down..
den the stupid big big wugui bouncing away from me... so angry and pek chek...

sighs...sometimes i just wish all problems dun exist.. if only we could do things our own way..
travel thru time.. and travel past time.. future present, is all fake..

Sianx... Emo shit..whole day keep thinking abt what tt mini toons sales girl say..
she bought the wugui liao.. den summore gek me by telling me vry nice to hug...
nb... LEE MAN her name.. emo lo.. she still must make me feel worse..

My BIG BIG WUGUI~~~!!!

missing him... can't slp la... why always make things bad... now he's not replying my sms.. sobx... hai... nights dear.. muackx.. love you so... hai

guess only here den I know how to expreSs my feelings...sobx... even wugui hp not making things better... guess he'll be ignoring me for quite some time le... wish your interview success.. love ya... muackx...

no matter wad I do I'll always be wrong... e problem is there and always will be... no matter how hard I try.. it kills me tat we always quarrel over small things like this... makes me so afraid to sleep... scared tat nxt morning, he's no longer mine... even if one day tat hp to happen..., it's gonna be all MY FAULT ... so no amount of tears will get him back...no matter wad I do,.. I'm always wrong.... wrong wrong wrong... just like a big idiot... he's probably better without me, slowing him down... yet, I so dun wanna let go ....why..?

uncle tommy's things are better le... hai..

just came back from prawning..made my wugui laogong angry.. hai.. accidentally dropped e whole net of his catch into e water... really not purposely de la...hai... now dun dare talk to him..scared get scolded... sobx.. really my fault la.. now talk to me also one kind...nvm, tmr I going home le..sigh he mon starting school le.. so wun be meeting me anyway... hai...emo sorry dear.. hai... dun I always screw up?

so frustrating... stomach pain agn... kns!

Hai... So bad month for everyone around me..
Ah Gu (Ah Kheng) passed away... Family problems from father side...
Stupid work got alot of hiccups.. hai... so sianx... Luckily wugui laogong n me ok... not much problems...

Busy now.. Blog ltr..